The current discourse on teachers as "lazy" and "overpaid" made me reflect on the course of education in this country over the last thirty years. We are in the midst of another pendulum swing in our educational (and cultural) systems. However, because of the widening gap between the "haves" and the "have nots", the arc of that pendulum is gradually increasing, rather than following the natural progression of physics (and culture) which would pull it toward a central point.

The following paper was written by a thorough intellectual during the debate over Reagan's educational "reforms". I feel his argument is more than appropriate in the current climate. Educators, when seen as professionals, (and given the tools, space and respect accorded to professionals) will be professionals. We go to school for a reason; we wish to help kids. We do not put ourselves through college (in some states a Master's degree is required for certification) in order to gain fame or because we are bored and need a diversion. We go to college to help transform society.


Teachers as
Transformative
Intellectuals

Henry A. Giroux



The call for educational reform has gained the status of a recurring national event, much like the annual Boston Marathon. There have been more than 30 national reports since the beginning of the 20th century, and more than 300 task forces have been developed by the various states to discover how public schools can improve educational quality in the United States.' But unlike many past educational reform movements, the present call for educational change presents both a threat and a challenge to public school teachers that appears unprecedented in our nation's history. The threat comes in the form of a series of educational reforms that display little confidence in the ability of public school teachers to provide intellectual and moral leadership for our nation's youth. For instance, many of the recommendations that have emerged in the current debate either ignore the role teachers play in preparing learners to be active and critical citizens or suggest reforms that ignore the intelligence, judgment and experience that teachers might offer in such a debate. Where teachers do enter the debate, they are the object of educational reforms that reduce them to the status of high level techni¬cians carrying out dictates and objectives decided by "experts" for removed from the everydav realities of classroom life.2 The message appears to be that teachers do not count when it comes to critically examining the nature and process of educational reform.

The political and ideological climate does not took favorable for teachers at the moment. But it does offer them the challenge to join in a public debate with their critics as well as the opportunity to engage in a much needed self critique regarding the nature and purpose of teacher preparation, inservice teacher programs and the dominant forms of classroom teaching. Similarly the debate provides teachers with the opportunity to organize collectively so as to struggle to improve the conditions under which they work and to demonstrate to the public the central role that teachers must play in any viable attempt to reform the public schools.

In order for teachers and others to engage in such a debate, it is necessary that a theoretical perspective be developed that redefines the nature of the educational crisis while simultaneous]y providing the basis for an alternative view of teacher training and work. In short, recognizing that the current crisis in education largely has to do with the developing trend towards the disempowerment of teachers at all levels of education is a necessary theoretical precondition in order for teachers to organize effectively and establish a collective voice in the current debate. Moreover, such a recognition will have to come to grips not only with a growing loss of power among teachers around the basic conditions of their work, but also with a changing public perception of their role as reflective practitioners.

I want to make a small theoretical contribution to this debate and the challenge it calls forth by examining two major problems that need to be addressed in the interest of improving the quality of "teacher work," which includes all the clerical tasks and extra assignments as well as classroom instruction. First, I think it is imperative to examine the ideological and material forces that have contributed to what I want to call the proletarianization of teacher work; that is, the tendency to reduce teachers to the status of specialized technicians within the school bureaucracy, whose function then becomes one of managing and implementing curricula programs rather than developing or critically appropriating curricula to fit specific pedagogical concerns. Second, there is a need to defend schools as institutions essential to maintaining and developing a critical democracy and also to defending teachers as transformative intellectuals who combine scholarly reflection and practice in the service of educating students to be thoughtful, active citizens. In the remainder of this essay, I will develop these points and conclude by examining their implications for providing an alternative view of teacher work.

Toward a Devaluing and
Deskilling of Teacher Work

One of the major threats facing prospective and existing teachers within the public schools is the increasing development of instrumental ideologies that emphasize a technocratic approach to both teacher preparation and classroom pedagogy. At the core of the current emphasis on instrumental and pragmatic factors in school life are a number of important pedagogical assumptions. These include: a call for the separation of conception from execution; the standardization of school knowledge in the interest of managing and controlling it; and the devaluation of critical, intellectual work on the part of teachers and students for the primacy of practical considerations.3 This type of instrumental rationality finds one of its strongest expressions historically in the training of prospective teachers. That teacher training programs in the United States have long been dominated by a behavioristic orientation and emphasis on mastering subject areas and methods of teaching is well documented. The implications of this approach, made clear by Zeichner, are worth repeating:

Underlying this orientation to teacher education is a metaphor of "production," a view of teaching as an "applied science" and a view of the teacher as primarily an "executor" of the laws and principles of effective teaching. Prospective teachers may or may not proceed through the curriculum at their own pace and may participate in varied or standardized learning activities, but that which they are to master is limited in scope (e.g., to a body of professional content knowledge and teaching skills) and is fully determined in advance by others often on the basis of research on teacher effectiveness.. The prospective teacher is viewed primarily as a passive recipient of this professional knowledge and plays little part in determining the substance and direction of his or her preparation program.5

The problems with this approach are evident in John Dewey's argument that teacher training programs that emphasize only technical exper¬ tise do a disservice both to the nature of teaching and to their students.6 Instead of learning of learning to reflect upon the principles that structure classroom life and practice, prospective teachers are taught methodologies that 'appear to deny the very need for critical thinking. The point is that
teacher education programs often lose sight of the need to educate students to examine the underlying nature of school problems. Further, these programs need to substitute for the lan¬guage of management and efficiency a critical analysis of the less obvious conditions that structure the ideological and material practices of schooling.

Instead of learning to raise questions about the principles underlying different classroom methods, research techniques and theories of education, students are often preoccupied with learning the "how to," with "what works," or with mastering the best way to teach a given body of knowledge For example, the mandatory field practice seminars often consist of students' sharing with each other the techniques they have used in managing and controlling classroom discipline, organizing a day's activities and learning how to work within specific time tables. Examining one such program, Jesse Goodman raises some important questions about the incapacitating silences it embodies. He writes:

There was no questioning of feelings, assumptions, or definitions in this discussion. For example, the "need" for external rewards and punishments to "make kids learn" was taken for granted; the educational and ethical implications were not addressed. There was no display of concern for stimulating or nurturing a child's intrinsic desire to learn. Definitions of good kids as "quiet kids," workbook work as "reading," on task time as "learning," and getting through the material on time as "the goal of teaching" all went unchallenged. Feelings of pressure and possible guilt about not keeping to time schedules also went unexplored. The real concern in this discussion was that everyone "shared.

Technocratic and instrumental rationalities are also at work within the teaching field itself, and the), play an increasing role in reducing teacher autonomy with respect to the development and planning of curricula and the judging and implementation of classroom instruction. This is most evident in the proliferation of what has been called "teacher proof" curriculum packages.6 The underlying rationale in man), of these packages reserves for teachers the role of simply carrying out predetermined content and instructional procedures. The method and aim of such packages is to legitimate what I call management Pedagogies. That is, knowledge is broken down into discrete parts, standardized for easier management and consumption, and measured through predefined forms of assessment. Curricula approaches of this sort are management Pedagogies because the central questions regarding learning are reduced to the problem of management, i.e., "how to allocate resources (teachers, students and materials to produce the maximum number of certified ... students within a designated time."' The underlying theoretical assumption that guides this type of pedagogy is that the behavior of teachers
needs to be controlled and made consistent and predictable across different schools and student populations.

What is clear in this approach is that it organizes school life around curricular, instructional and evaluation experts, who do the thinking while teachers are reduced to doing the implementing. The effect is not only to deskill teachers, to remove them from the processes of deliberation and reflection, but also to routinize the nature of learning and classroom pedagogy. Needless to say, the principles underlying management pedagogies are at odds with the prem¬ise that teachers should be actively involved in producing curricula materials suited to the cultural and social contexts in which they teach. More specifically, the narrowing of curricula choices to a back to basics format and the introduction of lock step, time on task pedagogies operate from the theoretically erroneous as. sumption that all students can learn from the same materials, classroom instructional tech. niques and modes of evaluation. The notion that students come from different histories and embody different experiences, linguistic prac. tices, cultures and talents is strategically ignored within the logic and accountability of management pedagogy theory.

In what follows, I want to argue that one way to rethink and restructure the nature of teacher work is to view teachers as transformative intellectuals. The category of intellectual is helpful in a number of ways. First, it provides a theoretical basis for examining teacher work as a form of intellectual labor, as opposed to defining it in purely instrumental or technical terms. Second, it clarifies the kinds of ideological and practical conditions necessary for teachers to function as intellectuals. Third, it helps to make clear the role teachers play in producing and legitimating various political, economic and social interests through the pedagogies they endorse and utilize.

By viewing teachers as intellectuals, we can illuminate the important idea that all human activity involves some form of thinking. In other words, no activity, regardless of how routinized it might become, can be abstracted from the functioning of the mind in some capacity. This is a crucial issue, because by arguing that the use of the mind is a general part of all human activity we dignify the human capacity for integrating thinking, and practice, and in doing so highlight the core of what it means to view teachers as reflective practitioners. Within this discourse, teachers can be seen not merely as "performers professionally equipped to realize effectively any goals that may be set for them. Rather [they should] be viewed as free men and women with a special dedication to the values of the intellect and the enhancement of the critical powers of the young."10

Viewing teachers as intellectuals also provides a strong theoretical critique of technocratic and instrumental ideologies underlying an educational theory that separates the conceptualization, planning and design of curricula from the processes of implementation and execution. It is important to stress that teachers must take active responsibility for raising serious questions about what they teach, how they are to teach, and what the larger goals are for which they are striving. This means that they must take a responsible role in shaping the purposes and conditions of schooling. Such a task is impossible within a division of labor in which teachers have little influence over the ideological and economic conditions of their work. This point has a normative and political dimension that seems especially relevant for teachers. If we believe that the role of teaching cannot be reduced to merely training in the practical skills, but involves, instead, the education of a class of intellectuals vital to the development of a free society, then the category of intellectual becomes a way of linking the purpose of teacher education, public schooling and inservice training to the very principles necessary for developing a democratic order and society.

I have argued that by viewing teachers as intellectuals those persons concerned with education can begin to rethink and reform the traditions and conditions that have prevented schools and teachers from assuming their full potential as active, reflective scholars and practitioners. It is imperative that I qualify this point and extend it further. I believe that it is important not only to view teachers as intellectuals, but also to contextualize in political and normative terms the concrete social functions that teachers perform. In this way we can be more
specific about the different relations that teachers have both to their work and to the dominant society.

A fundamental starting point for interrogating the social function of teachers as intellectuals is to view schools as economic, cultural and social sites that are inextricably tied to the issues of power and control. This means that schools do more than pass on in an objective fashion a common set of values and knowledge. On the contrary, schools are places that represent forms of knowledge, language practices, social relations and values that are representative of a particular selection and exclusion from the wider culture. As such, schools serve to introduce and legitimate particular forms of social life. Rather than being objective institutions removed from the dynamics of politics anti power, schools actually are contested spheres that embody, and express a struggle over what forms of authority, types of knowledge, forms of moral regulation and versions of the past an d future should be legitimated and transmitted to students. This struggle is most visible in the demands, for example, of right wing religious groups currently trying to institute school prayer move certain books from the school library, and include certain forms of religious teachings in the science curricula. Of course, different demands are made by feminists, ecologists, minorities and other interest groups who believe that the schools should teach women's studies, courses on the environment, or black history. In short, schools are not neutral sites, and teachers cannot assume the posture of being neutral either.

In the broadest sense, teachers as intellectuals have to be seen in terms of the ideological and political interests that structure the nature of the discourse, classroom social relations and values that they legitimate in their teaching

With this perspective in mind, I want to conclude that teachers should become transformative intellectuals if they are to subscribe to a view of pedagogy that believes in educating students to be active, critical citizens.

Central to the category of transformative intellectual is the necessity of making the pedagogical more political and the political more pedagogical. Making the pedagogical more political means inserting schooling directly into the political sphere by arguing that schooling represents both a struggle to define meaning and a struggle over power relations. Within this perspective, critical reflection and action become part of a fundamental social project to help students develop a deep and abiding faith in the struggle to overcome economic, political and social injustices, and to further humanize themselves as part of this struggle. In this case, knowledge and power are inextricably linked to the presupposition that to choose life, to recognize the necessity of improving its democratic and qualitative character for all people, is to understand the preconditions necessary to struggle for it.

Making the political more pedagogical means utilizing forms of pedagogy that embody political interests that are emancipator), in nature; that is, using forms of pedagogy that treat students as critical agents; make knowl Problematic; utilize critical and affirming dialogue; and make the case for struggling for a qualitatively better world for all people. In part, this suggests that transformative intellectuals take seriously the need to give students an active voice in their learning experiences. It also means developing a critical vernacular that is attentive to problems experienced at the level of everyday life, particularly as they are related to pedagogical experiences connected to classroom practice. As such, the pedagogical starting point for such intellectuals is not the isolated student but individuals and groups in their various cultural, class, racial, historical and gender settings, along with the particularity of their diverse problems, hopes and dreams.

Transformative intellectuals need to develop a discourse that unites the language of a critique with the language of possibility, so that social educators recognize that they can make changes. In doing so, they must speak out against economic, political and social injustices both within and outside of schools. At the same time, they must work to create the conditions that give students the opportunity to become citizens who have the knowledge and courage to struggle in order to make despair unconvincing and hope practical. As difficult as this task may seem to social educators, it is a struggle worth waging. To do otherwise is to deny social edu-cators the opportunity to assume the role of transformative intellectuals.

1. K. Patricia Cross, "The Rising Tide of School Reform. Reports,' Phi Delta Kappan 66:3 (November 1984 p. 16

2. For a more detailed critique of the reforms, see my book with Stanley Aronowitz Education Under Siege (South Hadley MA Bergin and Garvey Publishers, 1985 also see the incisive comments an the impositional nature of the various reports, in Charles A. Tesconi, Jr., "Additive Reforms and the Retreat from Purpose Educational Studies 15:1 (Spring 1984), 1 11; Terrence E. Deal, "Searching for the Wizard pp. Quest for Excellence in Education," Issues in Education 2:1 (Summer 1984), pp. 56 57 Svi Shapiro, "Choosing Our Educational Legacy: Disempowerment or Emancipation?" Issues in Education 2:1 (Summer 1984 pp. 1] 22.

3. For an exceptional commentary on the need to educate teachers to be intellectuals, *see John Dewey "The Relation of Theory to Practice," in John Dewey, The Middle Works 1899 1924 edited by Jo Ann Boyd ( Carbondale, IL: Southern Illinois University Press, 1977 [originally published in 19041. See also, Israel Scheffler "University Scholarship and the Education of Teachers," Teachers College Record 70:1
(1968)

Pp. 1 12; Henry A. Giroux, Ideology Culture and flit, ocess of Schooling (Philadelphia: Temple University
Press, 1981).

4. See for instance, Herbert Kliebard "The Question of Teacher Education," in D. McCarty (ed.) New
Perspectives on Teacher Education (San Francisco: Jossey¬ Bass, 1973).

5. Kenneth M. Zeichner "Alternative Paradigms on Teacher Education," Journal of Teacher Education 34:3 (May June 1963; p. 4.)

6. Dewey, op. cit.

7. Jesse Goodman, "Reflection and Teacher Education: A Case Study and Theoretical Analysis," Interchange 15:3 (1984), 1. 15.

8. Michael Apple, Education and Power (Boston: Routledge & Kegan Paul, Ltd., 1982).

9. Patrick Shannon, "Mastery Learning in Reading and the Control of Teachers and Students.'' Language
Arts 61:5 (September 1984), p. 488.

10. Israel Scheffler, op. cit., p. 11


Henry A. Giroux is an Associate Professor of Education at
Miami University, Oxford, Ohio. 'Teachers as Transform,
ative Intellectuals,'' by Henry Giroux, Social May
1985 pp. 376 379. copyright 1985 by Social Education

The New Depression

I've been thinking alot about the equivalencies of current times and the Great Depression. The continuing concentration of wealth at the top, the ongoing class warfare, the ever-increasing fear-mongering (propaganda is running wild in the form of Fox News). All of it is pushing the country farther to the right, to the brink of paranoia and a willingness to do anything to save what is "ours" from "them".

"Us" and "them", mind you, are loosely defined and can be user-interpreted by any group to mean anything. The "Conservative mindset" is generally rigid and inclined to fear. Therefore, once a fear-based idea ('they're coming to take our guns and our money', for instance) is successfully implanted, it becomes like a stubborn ketchup stain; forever dying the fabric of existence RED...

Prior to the Great Depression, there were no safety nets, no way for the American Public to feel protected from the slings and arrows of fortune. The country was wild with anticipation about the future, and no one worried too much about the increasing concentration of wealth (ever heard of the Robber Barons?)

Like our modern Corporations (and now Governors), the Robber Barons were anti-union. Workers were not given weekends, or pensions, or the right to overtime should their workload force them to bend to their tasks for more than 8 hours a day or 40 hours a week.

As the country emerged from the mire of the Great Depression, however, Unions gained strength, and the government stepped up, creating the social safety nets and infrastructure programs which built this country to it's high point in the 70's, when the country was riding so high on the adrenaline of its welth that the regularions put in place in the '30's suddenly didn't look so important. We began deregulating, beginning with Nixon. This deregulation continues today, slowly dismantling the means by which America became a superpower. It will continue with the destruction of the Unions. And our govenment is doing nothing to stop it. In fact, they are active particpants.

Noam Chomsky recently stated in an interview

I’m old enough to remember the Depression. My family was mostly unemployed working class. It was objectively worse than now, if you count, you know, objective standards. On the other hand, it was hopeful. There was a sense that something is going to happen. You had a government which was doing things that helped the population, because they were under pressure. In fact, Roosevelt famously talked to the labor leaders and said, "Make me do this. You know, so you go have sit-down strikes and you protest and so on, then we’ll push this legislation through." Well, it happened. So you had WPA. You had—Social Security was coming in. There was a sense that we’re going to get out of this somehow. There was hope for the future. Now there isn’t. The industrial workforce is living in the Depression. Unemployment is at Depression levels.

And the jobs aren’t coming back, because policy is designed, by the man in charge of jobs for the Obama administration and others like him, to send production abroad. It’s cheaper. It’s more profitable for the banks and the management. Or to move from investment in production to investment in finance, which does nothing for the economy, probably harms it, but it is very profitable and has the nice feature that when it crashes, as it’s going to do, the taxpayer will come in and bail you out. It’s a great system. It’s a real racket. We will—the regulations are such so that we can take very risky transactions, make a lot of money, it’s going to crash, but no problem, there’s that nice taxpayer. They will come in and bail us out. We’ll be richer than before. And each time it gets worse than it was the last time. Now, this one is really bad. So whatever the growth figures show, for the population, that’s not happening, except for a small sector. So the numbers could be right, but that’s not what it means for people’s lives.

Life is not about making money for the few. Life is about our freedoms, our inherent human rights. Someone is trying to take those away. Not our rights to guns, or to pay less taxes, or to buy whatever we want (as long as it's cheap and poorly constructed so you have to buy more- and soon! It's your duty as an American!)

The rights they are trying to take away are those most basic ones our forefathers described. The right to liberty, freedom from oppression, and the pursuit of happiness. The right to choose our own religion and the right to our own bodies.

Take from this what you will. From the annals of the American Revolution, however, came this bit of poetry from Phyllis Wheatly

No more, America, in mournful strain,
Of wrongs and grievance unredressed complain;
No longer shall thou dread the iron chain
Which wanton Tyranny, with lawless hand,
Had made, and with it meant t' enslave the land.

Ah, the joys...

A dear freind introduced me to the most amazing concept. Brewing COLD COFFEE. Oh, yes, I know, seems absolutely ridiculous. Cold-brewed coffee?

It is incredibly rich and smooth, and I can make a cup as dark or light as I wish without burning a single drop. The link above will show you how. I used an old plastic Folgers container to brew it (though I dont recommend using Folgers for the process itself- the product is a little bitter). Then I poured it through the filter on my old coffee maker. The result is stored in a pitcher in my fridge and I can have fresh coffee ANYTIME I WANT IT.

What's even better, my husband even likes the coffee, because the resulting brew is so smooth. Enjoy!

Dear body-

We've always had a rather adversarial relationship, you and I. You've hurt me again and again. I've been terribly rough on you. We dont communicate well. Youre rather oblique with your requests, and since I have a hard time understanding them, I generally just give you what I think you may want; something sweet to sweeten you up.

You inevitably pout, because I haven't read your wishes. Your pouting makes me tired and weak. It makes me not want to do anything for you. Why should I, if you can't do me the simple favor of perking up after and lovely sweet snack? Because I don't wish to do anything nice for you, you get tired too, and the cycle continues. A cycle of negative co-dependence, really. We're both awfully passive-aggressive. Which makes this a relationship my therapist would tell me to get out of.

So, can we come to a compromise? We are stuck in this particular relationship. We haven't much choice.

And to be honest, I really wouldn't want it any other way. You are obstinate and damaged and carrying more than a small excess of baggage. But you are also beautiful. You are delicate and sublime and heavy-duty. People should draw charcoal sketches of you just to understand your curves. They should paint you to come to realizations abut your skin. They should sculpt you to test your gravity and feel your strength.

I offer this compromise-

I will listen if you will speak up.

I will respond to your strengths if you will respond to mine.

I will come to understand if you will give me answers.

Yours
Liz

How much is physical?

Is our willingness to believe and assist in abuse allegations predicated on whether or not we view the abused as 1) physically appealing and 2) physically vulnerable?

For instance… in Steig Larsson’s Millenium trilogy, Lisbeth is a chaotic neutral force; she is capable of fighting for her own rights via violence and subversion, but will not injure another unless a direct threat is posed. She is perfectly capable of fighting for her own rights and determining her own future but, because of injustices perpetrated by those who had power over her as a child, including legal authority figures, she is psychologically incapable of dealing with the systems in place.

If another character were substituted, say, one with an identical psychological profile but with less doll-like proportions, would those around her still be as willing to rise to the occasion? Would she be viewed as more or less capable by those around her if she was 5’8” and a standard weight? Or worse, built like her half-brother, Neidermann? A solid woman above 6’? How about less than physically appealing? Overweight? With a huge mole on her neck?

Would her psychological vulnerabilities still be enough for those around her to step in on her behalf (inspiring a national scandal) or would such physical proportions fail to stir such a fervor? Or would her psych profile make people even less curious about this intense girl if her physical appearance were not so appealing? Would her intense self-reliance and intellect just freak people out or would it continue to draw people in? How much, exactly, does the physical appearance of an individual dictate how people view the personality?

Playings the thing

Lights up on DUNCAN, facing the audience, staring intently at something. We can only assume it is a television screen and he is preparing to play a video game because he is holding a controller. In the couch next to him is another controller. The coffee table in front of him is littered with gamer detritus; empty beer and Mountain Dew bottles, a pizza box, an empty cheetos bag… There are similar fragments on the floor around the couch. On two end tables sit laptops, open and on. The tables they sit on are immaculate. REID enters stage left, carrying a huge glass measuring cup with about a cup of water swirling around the bottom. He walks toward the couch and pushes some of the junk off the table to make room for the measuring cup.

REID
Seriously, man. No cups? In the whole house?

DUNCAN
You live here too. You could wash some cups.
Impatiently gesturing at the screen
Hurry up- They’ll all waiting on you.

REID
picking up his controller
Your chore, my friend. You wash them, I put them away.

DUNCAN
gesturing to the measuring cup
Yeah, and then you go and use the biggest item in the whole house for a little sip of water. Why should I have to wash that out?

REID
It’s unsanitary to put it away after its had lips on it.

DUNCAN rolls his eyes and tries to focus on the game; REID joins in. Throughout the next several minutes, DUNCAN appears to get more and more frustrated, and REID seems oblivious to his friend’s frustration.

DUNCAN
You can’t go that way.

REID
Why not? It’ll get me there as well as the other path.

DUNCAN
Your whole party is going the other way. I’m going the other way. You’ll screw everything up.

REID
I swear this way’s quicker.

DUNCAN
No, It’s not.

REID shrugs and sips water from the measuring cup, then dives back into the game.

DUNCAN
REID! WATCH WHAT YOU’RE DOING!

REID
Calm down! I can take him out.

DUNCAN
Check out his level, Reid. There’s no way you’re gonna win that. Then you’ll leave us all stranded. Again.

REID
Watch. Learn. And be impressed.

REID focuses intently for a moment, then jumps up and does a little celebratory dance. DUNCAN picks up a beer bottle and stares down its neck as if wishing brew would appear. He looks unimpressed.

REID
Told you I could do it!

DUNCAN puts down his controller and starts picking up the mess on the coffee table as Reid settles back down.

REID
What are you doing, Dunc? We’ve still got trolls to slay and maidens to woo!

DUNCAN
I’m done man. Give my apologies to the party.

REID
They are not gonna be happy!

Starts playing again, continuing through the next bit of dialogue

DUNCAN
picks up a pizza box and sniffs it
This place is rancid, Reid. We have more important things to do than play a stupid game.

REID
Stupid? Game? What? Did I just hear those words from Duncan the Dragon Slayer Wainer? Mightiest of the MMORPG warriors? Sage Mage of Maidenheald? Oh, how the mighty have fallen!
Feigns flicking away a tearq

DUNCAN
Oh, shut it, Reid. Really. It’s just a game. You may not have a real life outside of it, but I do.

REID
Since when?

DUNCAN
getting angrier as he cleans
Since now.

REID
Oh! Like now, now or three minutes ago now?

DUNCAN storms offstage, carrying handfuls of trash. REID stares after him for a second, shakes his head, and returns to the game. A moment later, DUNCAN returns with a garbage bag and stands in front of the coffee table, effectively blocking REID’s view. REID tries for a moment to ignore him, but…

REID
DUNC! Dude! You’re screwing up the quest!

DUNCAN doesn’t move and REID sets down his controller. We hear a *ping* and REID perks up- he sets down his controller and picks up his laptop.

REID
There she is!

DUNCAN storms out of the room. REID shakes his head and continues his chat. There are rumblings offstage.
DUNCAN Offstage
REID! Seriously? The dishwashers full of clean dishes!


A plastic cup flies on stage, followed by a clean plastic plate and a cookie sheet. REID ignores the noise continues his chat and takes a sip of water out of the measuring cup. DUNCAN comes back onstage, carrying an armful of clean dishes. REID sets his computer aside, closing it as it powers down. DUNCAN approaches REID from the rear and begins dropping plastic cups on him one by one.

DUNCAN
How can I WASH the dishes if you don’t PUT AWAY the dishes?

REID
laughing, playing with the cups as they drop
You do know they’re all gonna have to be washed again, don’t you?
He stacks some of the cups he managed to catch on the now-fairly-clean table and picks up the controller.
Your chore, Not mine. Oh! Cassandra’s coming over in a little bit.
Tries to hand DUNCAN a cup.
Better clean up-

DUNCAN storms around the side of the coffee table and picks up the measuring cup. He looks at the contents for a moment, slowly dumps the water over REIDS head, then places it on REIDS head like a hat and taps it as if he’s happy with his handiwork. Sputtering, REID drops his controller and stands, looking reproachfully at DUNCAN.

REID
Well, THAT wasn’t very nice.

DUNCAN
I’ll tell you what’s not very nice, Reid. Shirking your housework is not very nice.

REID
How was I supposed to know they were clean?

DUNCAN
Leaving your Mountain Dew bottles and cheetos bags everywhere for me to pick up is not very nice.

REID
Hey now! You leave your beer bottles and pizza boxes-

DUNCAN
Stripping down to your underwear and sitting in the livingroom mostly naked when I tell you I might be having company is not very nice-

REID
I TOLD you I’d go into the bedroom when they-

DUNCAN
Picking up speed. REID protests throughout the next monologue but it is incoherent- mostly I-‘s and but-‘s
Parking your car in my space is not very nice. Smoking in the house is not very nice. Don’t lie. I can smell it when I come home from work. Borrowing my shampoo is not very nice. Borrowing my toothbrush? That’s REALLY not very nice. Taking my games out of the XBOX and leaving the disks out to get scratched? Not very nice. Using my computer to download porn? Not very nice. Playing Guitar hero as loud as possible at 4 am when I have to work in the morning? Not very nice. Getting drunk and running over my garden gnome?

REID
Gnomes come and go, but I really don’t see how this applies-

DUNCAN
Not VERY NICE! Paying your rent late this month- most months! Not very nice. Hooking up with Cassandra when you know perfectly well how much I care about her- not very-

REID
Wait!

DUNCAN
NOT VERY NICE!

REID
finally removing the measuring cup from his head
Cassandra? Really? Is that what this is about?

DUNCAN
NO! Leaving your dirty underwear in the bathroom sink-

REID
It IS, isn’t it? You’re totally mad about CASSANDRA! Dude-

DUNCAN
No- that’s not what-
stops protesting, swats a cup off the couch and sits down.
Yeah. Okay. Sorta it is.

REID Laughing
Dude- Really.

DUNCAN
Shut up Reid. It’s not fair. You’re a freaking slob and a jerk but you’re so good at everything- games and getting girls and CASSANDRA-

REID sobering
Duncan, Dude- She’s coming to see you.

DUNCAN
WHAT?

REID
You heard me, Dunc. She’s coming to see YOU dude. She pinged me because she wanted to make sure I’d skedaddle in a bit.

DUNCAN
But she- you-

REID
She’s been crushing on YOU for a while. She’s been asking me what I thought. I told her you got all starry eyed whenever she came online.

DUNCAN
You-

REID grinning
NOW who’s the jerk?

DUNCAN
Reid, I’m- wow.

REID
handing DUNCAN’s controller to him
Yeah. I know.
They play for a moment

DUNCAN
Sorry about the water.

REID
It’s okay. My laptop was closed.

LIGHTS DOWN

The cabin prompt 1/13/11

The cabin stood awkwardly in the field, listing to one side as if whoever had built it had neglected to level the ground beneath. Cam could see from a cursory glance that the joints weren’t properly fitted, there were gaps between the boards. The whole place simply seemed askew. Yet Cam could not wait to carry her boxes up the stairs and settle in. It was the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen.

In order to finish her dissertation, Cam had realized a few months ago that she needed solitude. It would certainly help to get away from the party atmosphere her friends reveled in. The boxes contained reams of research. Behind her, she heard John wrestling the red portable generator out of the truck bed. With it came ten gallon gas cans, five of them, and bags of groceries which didn’t require refrigeration. A neglected nearby orchard would provide fruit for her. The generator was there simply to power her iBook and desk lamp.

The cabin was rented for a month, with the contingency that she may need to extend her stay. September was barely born, and John said she could have the cabin for the whole winter if need be. He would transport supplies for her and come up once a week to make the place more air tight. When she protested that she may only need the month, he raised a placating hand and said the time was an investment. He may want to retire here some day and couldn’t if the place frothed snow at every joint.

While John set up the generator to the side of the cabin, Cam began hauling boxes and bags up the stairs. Inside, the cabin was hardly airtight, but it was clean and comfortably furnished. Dropping her bag on the dark craftsman sofa, she pulled a box to her and got to work.
*
The orchard was less than a hundred yards to the rear of the cabin. With the advent of fall, the heavy fruit was falling but the trees still carried plenty of edible produce. She carried a boxful of the apples back to the cabin and sat them on the front porch to prevent the heat from the woodstove from prematurely spoiling them. A wooden chair faced the road- a trail, really- and the woods beyond. She sat in the chair, wiping an apple clean with a damp towel, a mug of black coffee on the narrow boards at her feet and contemplated her next chapter.

Across the road, a hulking figure moved through the woods. It was massive, brown, its weight precariously balanced on wiry, bony legs which comprised most of its height. When she moved in John told her about the local moose herd. Apparently if she didn’t approach, they wouldn’t either. She’d taken to calling the one now foraging the woods across from her Jinny. Jinny had a narrower nose than the other moose she’d seen over the last week, and a star of white on one ear. Every so often, Jinny would stand at the edge of the road and stare at the cabin, as if acknowledging Cam. Cam would wave and Jinny would wander off.
*
Cam woke to something heavy brushing the side of the cabin. The wooden box shuddered and slumped around her again. Cam’s heart pounded, more from the abrupt awakening than the fear of something out to harm her. She pulled the heavy down blanket tight around her as she sat up in the bed, listening. The cabin was cold, the world outside as silent as nocturnal woods could be. Ten minutes passed as she contemplated the possibilities. None were particularly frightening. Wild animals could be terrifying, but generally left human habitations alone unless provoked or hungry. Whatever had brushed the outside of her cabin had likely been curious, not dangerous, and wandered off when it smelled human. She settled back down onto the bed, plumping the pillow and curling into her preferred sleeping position on her right side. She tucked the blanket tight around her to maintain her heat and drifted back to sleep.

In the morning, Cam woke with a start. There was an odd smell to the cabin, part wet dog, part wild animal. Now her heart pounded in earnest. She heard a shuffling outside her bedroom door, which she closed during the night to keep in the heat from the small woodstove in the corner. Something snorted at the narrow opening at the bottom and Cam heard the small clatter of a hoof lifted and set gently down.
The door crashed open, hitting the wall next to the bed. It bounced back and there was a crack as it hit something solid. Cam threw the blanket over her head, trying to be invisible, to provide as little threat as possible to whatever was in her room. Even deer could be dangerous if threatened. They could kick and bite, or gore a hazard with antlers. Cam wanted to finish her dissertation, she wanted to someday get married. She wanted to write a book. And right now, she wanted to get the hell out of the woods.

Something snuffled at the blanket. Through the weight of down and dense thread count she could smell something rancid. It wasn’t rancid the way meat does rancid. It was rotten in the way decayed vegetation reek s. And it smelled fermented. Like poorly made apple cider. The snuffling continued for a few moments, whatever the beast was exploring the length of the bed. Something else, heavy and freely moving, kept smacking her under the covers. Huge hooves moved unsteadily across the wooden floor. Finally it settled heavily on the floor at the foot of the bed, jouncing Cam around under the covers when one if it’s harder extremities jostled the bed. She heard her suitcase clatter across the floor. She stayed hidden until she heard the breath of the beast even out as it dropped into a heavy sleep.

The blanket was wet on the outside. Rancid drool practically dripped from it. She moved timidly across the length of the bed and stared at the mountainous moose on her floor. It was Jinny. And she was drunk. One of the huge ears twitched and laid back against the heavy skull as Cam couldn’t help but whisper a Hail Mary. She moved gingerly off the bed. Her slippers were covered in moose drool, so she slipped on her tennis shoes without tying them and moved as silently as possible out into the cabin’s main room.

How she had slept through the chaos caused by Jinny in the cabin was beyond comprehension. Boxes of paperwork were scattered by the stumbling hooves. The table lay on its side, the bowl of fruit now trampled and chewed. Cam felt her heart slapping her ribcage and her lungs lock. The paperwork could be saved and reorganized. But where was her laptop?

Cam had placed it back in the bag as she always did in the evening. The bag was waterproof, and the leaky cabin did not inspire her confidence for laptop safety. The bag had been zipped and left on the table. It should have been large enough to spy even in the chaotic pile of papers.

Cam tried to calm herself and think logically. If it wasn’t under the papers, maybe it hadn’t been trampled. Under the couch? Cam dropped to her knees as quietly as possible and scanned the space beneath. Not there. She stayed down and explored the floor for nearly fifteen minutes before giving up on that idea. Rather than stand, she sat in the middle of the mess, pulling her knees up to her chest and trying not to cry. Two years of hard work, meticulous research and a clinical trial. The data was backed up, but the writing wasn’t. There were nearly 150 pages of writing on the laptop which existed nowhere else except her head.

She heard the bed shudder in the next room as Jinny moved in her drunken stupor, likely kicking it. Wait- Jinny. Something had bounced off the blanket while the moose was busy drooling on it. Cam nearly jumped up. If Jinny had toppled the table with her nose, it was just possible-

She moved back to the bedroom, trying to avoid tripping on the mess and waking the moose. Climbing quietly back onto the bed, she peered down at the inebriated mammal. Wrapped around the cow’s neck was the long strap of the laptop. Her head rested on the body of the case. Cam stared at the case and imagined thick, malodorous slobber dripping through holes in the newly damaged case into her laptop, onto the keyboard, down to the precious hard drive. Can they recover data from that?
Cam jumped as Jinny suddenly lifted her head. The drunk female stared at her, blinking slowly, before letting her head sink leisurely back down onto the case.
*
Cam was on the front porch, in her flannel jammies and wrapped in a thin lap blanket two hours later when John showed up for his weekly supply drop and repair spree. Cam hadn’t had coffee. She hadn’t brushed her hair or teeth. She looked and felt like hell.

“Rough night?” John was a man of few words.

Cam said quietly. “Very. The moose has my laptop.”

John blinked. “The who has your what?”

Cam gestured to the thrashed cabin. She front door was off it’s hinges, and the chaos was visible from the porch. “See for yourself. There is a drunk moose named Jinny in my bedroom with my laptop around her neck, drooling into the hard drive.” Cam blinked, feeling a frustrated tear roll down her face.

John waded carefully into the mess and whistled. He looked back at Cam. “Drunk moose. Hand me an apple.”

The box of apples had been turned on its side and trampled but a few still looked somewhat edible. She tossed one through the door and sank silently back down in the chair.

A few minutes later, John emerged with the drool-sodden case hanging from the strap. He held it out to her. She stood and snatched it from his grasp, placing it gingerly on the uneven boards of the porch before tugging at the zipper. The case, aside from being smelly and beyond damp, seemed unharmed. Her heart lifted as she tenderly pulled the laptop free and pushed the case aside. The laptop appeared fine, but she held her breath as she pressed the power button. John wandered the inside of the cabin while she did a quick inspection of the laptop functions. 150 pages, intact, her studies, intact, her laptop, a constant companion of her school career, intact.

“Is it okay?” John stood in the door, a pile of papers in his hand. He had apparently been attempting a little cleaning.

Cam grinned. “Yes. Thank god. All here. Thank you so much. I didn’t know how to get it away from her-“

John grinned back. “You just have to know how to deal with party animals. Snacks should always be served.”